Meditation has exploded in popularity over the past few years, with an estimated 200 – 500 million people meditating across the globe. Everyone from high-flying executives to athletes seem to be touting the benefits of incorporating a mindfulness practice into their lives.

Yet research suggests that women are more likely to meditate than men, and are even more likely to reap the benefits. This is unfortunate because there are countless benefits of meditation for men including reduced stress and anxiety, developing a deeper understanding of yourself, boosting self-esteem and even improving overall health.

Despite these benefits, many guys find it difficult to even just begin meditating let alone maintaining a consistent meditation practice.

The aim of this guide is to bring clarity to the sometimes abstract world of meditation and make the practice more accessible to men.

In part one, I’ll explain what meditation is exactly and explore some of the different types of meditation available to you. Part two breaks down the incredible benefits meditation can offer guys specifically. Part three is where we get tactical, focusing on actionable tips on how to start your own meditation practice. Lastly, part four includes some useful resources like apps, books and other resources that will support you on your inner journey.

Part 1: Overview

What is Meditation?

Put simply, meditation is a technique for quieting the thinking mind and achieving an altered state of consciousness. Meditation allows us to understand our true selves at a deeper level and experience states of peace and bliss that are typically out of reach in our day-to-day lives.

Despite popular belief, meditation is not exclusive to any religion. It is a science. The process of meditation involves following specific steps, has definite principles and produces verifiable results each and every time.

Through meditation your mind will be calm, clear and relaxed. You will be fully awake and alert. The only thing is, you won’t be focusing on what’s happening in the world around you or grasping onto thoughts.

The goal of meditation is to achieve an inner state that is so still and one-pointed that your mind has no choice but to become silent. Once the mind becomes silent and is no longer distracting you, you will move into deeper stages of meditation.

Meditation as part of yoga

As I mentioned in the Beginners Guide to Yoga For Men, yoga is so much more than just holding postures. In fact, meditation makes up a big part of the yogic path.

WIthin the context of yoga, meditation is known as “dhyana”. Yogis refer to dhyana as a state of pure consciousness.It is the seventh stage on the yogic path and follows dhrana, or the art of concentration. Meditation, or dhyana, leads to samadhi – the final state of liberation or enlightenment (the last step in Pantanjali’s eight-limbed system of yoga).

Dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation) and samadhi (ecstasy) are referred to as samyama, known as the inner practice of the yogic path.

Origins of Meditation

buddha statue in front of lit candles.jpg — Meditation can be traced back to Eastern traditions like Buddhism, Hinduism and Chinese Medicine
Meditation includes a variety of different techniques that can be traced back to Eastern traditions like Buddhism, Hinduism and Chinese medicine. While meditation may have originated from ancient religious and spiritual practices, anyone can benefit from meditation – no matter your religion or background.

Types of meditation

There are a number of different types of meditation to choose from. But it’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to meditate. You may find that mantra meditation works for you better than body scan meditation. That’s ok! Find a technique that feels right for you and stick to it. All of the meditation methods below will help you to quiet the mind and create inner stillness. Let’s look deeper at how these meditation forms differ.

There is no right or wrong way to meditate

Concentration

Concentration meditation involves focusing all of your awareness on a single object, like the breath, to calm the mind. As soon as your mind wanders, bring your attention back to the object. Typically the breath is used as the object, although it could be anything such as a candle, a sound or a mantra. This is a great form of meditation for beginners due to its simplicity.

Vipassana (insight) meditation

Vipassana is an ancient Buddhist meditation technique that involves paying close attention to certain aspects of your experience. This goal of this type of meditation is to “gain insight into the true nature of reality” through contemplating all areas of human existence: suffering, unsatisfactoriness, impermanence, non-self and emptiness. A good place to start with Vipassana is body scan meditation (see below).

Body scan meditation

Body scan meditation is a component of Vipassana, or insight, meditation. It involves using sensations in the body as the point of focus for the mind. This type of meditation is performed by conducting a mental scan of your body from the top of the head to the toes, stopping to fully experience any sensations, tensions or aches. Based on my own experience, this type of meditation is best done after a few minutes of concentrating on the breath to settle the mind.

Visualisation

This form of meditation involves picturing someone or something in your mind and then focusing on that mental image. Visualisation focuses on using mental images as the object of focus, rather than the breath.

Loving kindness

Loving Kindness meditation involves directing feelings of love and compassion first to ourselves, and everyone around us to help cultivate compassion. It sounds a little abstract I know, but this form of meditation is a great way to let go of negativity and improve your overall mood.

Skillful compassion

This meditation technique involves focusing on a person you know or love and then listening to sensations and emotions arising from your heart. It’s similar in ways to loving kindness meditation, but incorporates paying attention to your own feelings.

Resting awareness

Resting awareness meditation doesn’t focus on the breath, bodily sensations or visualisations. Instead it involves simply observing your mind and letting thoughts come and go, while you remain in the here and now.

Reflection

Reflecting deeply on a question or statement is also a form of meditation. When reflecting, ask yourself a question like “what are you passionate about” and then pay attention to the feelings and emotions that arise (not the thoughts) when you focus on the question.

Mantra meditation

Mantra meditation involves reciting or listening to mantra (a syllable, word or phrase). It is believed that the subtle vibrations from the repeated mantra can have a positive impact on the mind and even allow you to enter the deeper stages of meditation.

There’s no specific mantra that you have to use. Just find one that works for you. If you are not into spiritual practice, you might pick a positive affirmation like “I am peaceful”. If you practice yoga you might choose a peace mantra such as “Om Shanti” or “Om shanti shanti shanti”. In Buddhism the mantra “Om Mani Padme Hum” is widely used.

Transcendental meditation

Transcendental meditation, commonly referred to as TM, is a form of silent, mantra meditation. It was created by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and was first introduced to India in the 1950s. Typically this form of meditation is taught by certified Transcendental Meditation teachers. However, the technique can be learned for free.

The noting technique

Noting is a technique that can be used in conjunction with most forms of meditation. It’s an easy way to deepen any meditation practice and to become aware of thoughts or feelings. This technique involves noting what is distracting the mind during your meditation and then returning to the breath or bodily sensations. By noting thoughts or feelings that pop up, we can create space and let go of any persistent thought patterns tendencies or conditioning.

Meditation Postures

When you think of meditation you probably picture someone sitting in a lotus pose. But meditation can be performed in a range of postures such as sitting, kneeling, and walking.

Sitting

Left: The simple cross-legged meditation posture. Right: The more advanced lotus pose.

Meditation can be done in any position, although the most common posture is sitting. There’s a number of seated postures to choose from, but I recommend starting with a simple cross-legged pose. If you’re a flexible guy, then you might prefer the traditional lotus pose.

But you don’t have to sit on the ground to meditate. If you have lower back issues you might want to try sitting in a chair. It’s just as effective as the classic seated position. As long as you keep your torso upright and feel steady and comfortable you can achieve deep states of meditation with or without the chair.

If you choose to sit on the floor to meditate I recommend sitting on a cushion or a folded towel to elevate the hips. This can take some of the pressure off of your hips and knees.

As for your hands, you can either place them on your thighs or in your lap with the palms relaxed facing up or down. Your shoulders should be relaxed and kept slight down and back with a slight lift in the chest. Keep your neck neutral and the chin tilted slightly down. Based on which meditation technique you are using, the eyes can be closed or open.

Kneeling

You might find that kneeling “Japanese-style” is more conducive to your meditation practice. The advantage of this posture is that it is much easier to keep the back straight. To meditate in this posture, rest on the floor on bent knees with the shins flat on the floor and ankles under the butt. To make this posture more comfortable you can put a cushion or rolled-up towel between your butt and ankles. You can also buy a small meditation bench for this position.

Walking

That’s right. Meditation can even be done while walking. Walking meditation can help to bring the body and mind in sync while you’re out and about. It involves walking slowly and consciously, with each step becoming the focal point of your awareness.

Arms should be kept relaxed at your sides and move freely. Your steps should be coordinated with the breath. A typical recommendation is to breathe in for three steps and breath out for another three.

Part 2: Benefits of Meditation for Men

Research has confirmed what ancient meditation practitioners have known for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Meditation works. It can decrease stress and anxiety, combat depression, reduce physical and psychological pain, improve memory and even increase productivity.

Meditation has also been proven to improve physical health by lowering blood pressure and heart rate, reduce cortisol (our body’s primary stress hormone), improve oxygen utilisation and even increase melatonin. But what are the specific benefits of meditation for guys? Let’s check them out below:

1. Helps Develop Emotional Intelligence

Like most guys, I’m not always the best at taking the time to examine and get in touch with my emotions. Meditation can help you to become aware of strong thoughts or emotions as they arise, and then uncover the root cause of them. Studieshave shown that meditation practice can physically alter regions in the brain related to the self and emotional regulation.

By taking the time to step back and examine our emotions when they arise, we are able to create space, allowing us to escape the pull of the emotion and stop it from controlling us. With regular practice, you will get better at noticing and observing strong thoughts and emotions, rather than reacting instinctively. Over time, meditation practice can enable you to break free from habitual patterns of thoughts and behaviours and become the best version of yourself.

2. Reduces work stress and anxiety

Despite advances in technology, daily life has become more stressful for people all over the world. However, research suggests that it is men who suffer the most from work stress, with 50% of men in the US stating that work is their primary cause of stress.

A reason for this could be that most guys place an unbelievable amount of pressure on themselves to perform at work, resulting in stress, anxiety, and the dreaded burnout. Perhaps it’s because we feel like it is our duty to provide for ourselves and our family. Let’s not forget the added stress that comes from dealing with a demanding boss, difficult co-workers or just being unhappy with your current job.

Meditation is an effective way to combat the stress and anxiety brought on from work by creating space between you and your thoughts. One studyfound that daily mindfulness practice can improve well-being, distress, job strain and even perceptions of workplace support.

3. Improves Men’s Health

Yoga and meditation practice has been found to not only improve men’s overall health but also combat some of the leading diseases affecting men like prostate cancer and heart disease.

One study found that lifestyle changes such as moving to a vegetarian diet and regularly practicing meditation and breathing exercises positively affected gene expression in men with prostate cancer. The 3-month study found that over 453 disease-promoting genes which cause cancer growth were down-regulated by this intervention.

Meditation may also help to combat the leading killer of men – coronary heart disease. A randomised, controlled trial of over 200 men and women with heart disease found that participants in the meditation group saw a 48% reduction in deaths, heart attacks and strokes.

4. Improves Sex Life

Meditation is known to reduce anxiety, a leading cause of a number of sexual dysfunctions. As men, we can feel pressure to perform in the bedroom which can end up having negative effects on our sex life.

Researchers suggest that mindfulness-based practices such as body scan meditation and sitting meditation can help men who suffer from anxiety-related sexual dysfunction by cultivating a sexual experience grounded in mindfulness, rather than anxiety or shame.

Learn more: Find out how yoga can improve male fertility and sexual performance in our article Yoga For Male Fertility.

5. Reduces Social Pressure

If you’re anything like me you’re probably guilty of spending way too much time on social media. One of the problems with excessive social media usage is comparing ourselves to others, leading to reduced self-esteem and even depression and anxiety.

The issue with social media is that we tend to compare our normal everyday lives to other people’s “highlight reels”. Our feeds are packed with pictures of exotic travels, gym selfies in perfect lighting and group shots of friends having a blast. This can conjure up feelings of jealousy or even anger towards others.

Regular meditation practice can help us focus on the here and now, rather than comparing ourselves to others. According to one study, just a few minutes of loving-kindness meditation can increase feelings of social connection and positivity, making us less likely to judge or compare our lives to those around us.

Part 3: Develop Your Meditation Practice

Now that you have a better understanding of what meditation is and how it can help you become the best version of yourself, it’s time to get started and actually start meditating. I highly recommend setting aside time each day for your meditation practice. Consistency is what will bring you the best results. It’s better to sit for five minutes each day than one hour once per week.

Preparation

1. Choose a time to meditate

It’s important to meditate at the same time and place each day. This will help you to build a healthy meditation habit that sticks. Personally, I block out 10 minutes at the start of each day for my meditation practice. Morning is usually considered the best time to meditate as you are less likely to be distracted by the demands of the day. But if you find meditating in the afternoon or evening works best for you – do it!

If you already have an established morning yoga practice you could try adding a short 5 – 10 minute meditation to the end of your practice. Many people find meditating after asanas (postures) is beneficial as their minds tend to settle quicker.

2. Find a place to meditate

To get the most out of your meditation practice, choose a place that is quiet and free of distractions. If you’re meditating indoors, turn off your TV and computer, close the door to minimise unwanted noise and close the windows if you live in a noisy neighbourhood.

To take things to the next level you could light a scented candle or incense stick. I personally like to use Nag Champaincense sticks when I meditate. They smell amazing and signal to my brain that it’s time to wind down and relax.

You may also want to dim any lights or close the curtains as overly bright light can make meditation more difficult.

3. Get a meditation cushion or folded towel

A cushion or folded towel can make your meditation experience far more comfortable. This will help you to raise your butt and hips off the ground, taking pressure off the knees and hips and enable you to keep your back straight. You can buy a dedicated meditation cushion or simply use a cushion from your sofa or even a bed pillow.

4. Wear comfy clothes

Avoid wearing restrictive types of clothing like jeans or tight pants when meditating. These can cause discomfort and add another unnecessary challenge to your practice. Choose clothes that you can sleep in or wear for exercise like a loose-fitting shirt and shorts.

How to Meditate

man sitting meditating in yoga studio.jpeg

Meditation can be more challenging than you think

Now that you’ve chosen a time and place to meditate, found a cushion or folded towel to support your posture and picked out some comfy clothes it’s time to get started. Meditation may seem as simple as sitting down and closing your eyes, but it can be more challenging than you’d expect.

Through meditation, the aim is to calm the mind, or as Buddhists put it, “tame the monkey mind” (In the Buddhist tradition, the “monkey mind” refers to our brain’s tendency to become easily distracted, restless or irritable). It’s not until we turn our focus inwards and observe the endless flow of thoughts and emotions that we realise just how busy our minds really are!

To tame our “monkey minds” and achieve the peace, bliss and mental clarity we are looking for, we need to undo a lifetime of bad habits and conditioning. This requires consistent, daily meditation practice following a proven process.

1. Get into the right posture

Getting into a comfortable posture for meditation is crucial for concentration. The mind and body work together, and when the body is relaxed and comfortable the mind naturally becomes still. I recommend following theseven-point meditation posture outlined by many ancient traditions;

Sit cross-legged supported by a cushion or folded towel to raise the spine. You can also assume the lotus or half-lotus posture if you are comfortable in this position. If it is uncomfortable to sit on the ground, sitting in a chair is fine too.
Rest your hands even in your lap with the right hand over the left, or placed on your thighs. Keep your hands relaxed.
Ensure your back is straight. As the back is linked to the nervous system, it’s important to keep it straight.
Your mouth and jaw should be relaxed, with your tongue gently resting on the roof of your mouth just behind the front teeth. This prevents the build-up of saliva.
The head should be tilted slightly forward, but not so far forward that you doze off!
Eyes can be closed or half-closed, staring unfocused at a point on the floor just in front of you.
Keep the shoulders relaxed and level with the elbows jutting out comfortably.

2. Set a timer

Once you are in a comfortable position, you’re ready to start meditating. Set a timer for how long you will meditate for. I suggest using a free app like Insight Timer, but you could simply use the timer on your phone or an old school egg timer. For beginners, start out with short sessions between 5-10 minutes and gradually increase the duration each, working up to 30 minutes or an hour.

3. Set your objective or intention

It’s a good idea to begin each meditation session with a clear objective or intention in mind to remind yourself what you are trying to achieve. A good objective for beginners could be something like:

“By the practice of this meditation, I will become more calm and relaxed, more efficient and happier in all that I do, Both for my own sake and for others”.

4. Choose an object of meditation

Comfortably seated and with a clear objective in mind, it’s time to choose an object of meditation. As I discussed in part one of this guide, there are a variety of objects you could focus on including the breath, mantras, sounds or visualisations. The most commonly used object, and one best suited for beginners, is the breath.

The breath is a great focal point for the mind for a number of reasons. Firstly, it’s always with you and easily accessible, unlike a mantra which you may forget or a physical object like a candle which you might not always have available. Secondly, just the act of focusing on the breath triggers a chain of physiological events that can induce feelings of calm and relaxation.

Below is a simple breath awareness meditation practice suggested by David Michie in the book Buddhism for Busy People (which I highly recommend reading if you’re interested in learning more about meditation or Buddhism in general).

5. Count your breaths

Breath counting involves mentally counting each breath when you exhale, usually for ten breaths before repeating. Your focus should be on the air flowing in and out of your nostrils. As you breathe out, mentally count ‘one’ in your mind. On the next exhale ‘two’, then ‘three’ and so on. Don’t pay attention to anything else except the air moving in and out of your nostrils. Not even the rising and falling of your chest. Try not to chase the thoughts that enter your mind.

This may sound simple, but you’ll quickly discover just how many uninvited thoughts begin to pop up in your mind. You might even become so distracted that you lose track of which number you are up to!

When this happens (and it will, trust me) don’t worry. This is simply agitation and it’s part of being a human. Once you realise you’re lost in thought or distracted by the outside world, simply focus back on the breath and start over. Just being aware that you are lost in thought is a great start to meditation. If you find you are having a hard time counting to ten, try aiming for four breaths. Each session increases the number to five, then six, seven and so on.

Once your concentration improves with regular practice you will notice that your awareness of the breath becomes sharper. At this point, begin noting the start of each in-breath, the sensation of the air entering the nostrils and where the inhalation ends.Notice the pause between each breath. Is it short? Long? Notice the beginning, middle, and end of each exhalation.

As you progress deeper into your meditation session, the breath will naturally slow down and you will become even more aware of the pause between each inhalation and exhalation. Eventually, the breath will “fall away”. At this point, you simply focus on the absence of the breath. This may sound vague, but from experience reaching this state of deeper meditation feels incredibly calming and serene.

6. Ending your meditation

As you come to the end of a meditation session, don’t just open your eyes and jump up. If you’ve had a particularly deep meditation session you are likely in a relaxed state. Slowly come out of your meditation by moving your awareness to sensations in the body, then start to notice sounds or smells in your environment. Gently wiggle the toes and fingers before slowly opening the eyes. Give yourself a minute to adjust to returning to your natural state of consciousness.

Common Meditation Issues

There are two main obstacles that beginners face in their meditation practice: agitation and dullness. Gross agitation can cause you to lose focus on the object of meditation, causing you to bring the mind back to the object, over and over again. If you are subtly agitated, you are still able to focus on the object of meditation, but you might experience a bunch of distractions.

On the other hand, dullness can cause us to become sleepy and we might even dose off instead of focusing on the object. So how can we combat these two issues? Well, we have two main tools at our disposal: mindfulness and awareness.

Mindfulness involves keeping our focus on the object and not allowing our concentration to move to anything else. Awareness involves observing what our mind is doing. Simply being conscious of both mindfulness and awareness and then incorporating them into your practice will help you to deepen your meditation sessions and combat dullness and agitation.

Part 4: Useful Resources

I’ve compiled some of my favourite meditation apps, books, and other useful resources to help you further your meditation practice.

Meditation Apps

Insight Timer

Headspace

Books

Buddhism for Busy People: Finding Happiness in an Uncertain World, David Michie

Making Space, Thich Nhat Hanh

Making is a great book for people starting out in meditation. Written by Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, the book breaks down the best way to establish a home meditation practice and shares some creative meditation practices that will help keep things fresh.
This book is a short read and a must for beginner meditators who are looking for some clear instructions on meditation without going too deep into spiritual aspects of the practice.

Recommended Guided Meditations

Ajahn Brahm

A friend introduced me to the teachings of Ajahn Brahm around five years ago. It was his simple, light-hearted approach to explaining Buddhist principles and practices that kickstarted my interest in meditation. Ajahn Brahm is a rockstar Monk who teaches meditation and spirituality to people all over the world. He’s also the founder of the Australian forest tradition of Buddhism focused on being “true to the original roots of the Buddha’s Teaching of Dhamma and Vinaya”.

I highly recommend checking out the Buddhist Society of Western Australia podcastand their YouTube channel to explore Ajahn Brahm’s guided meditations. Below is just one of many 30 minute guided meditations offered by Ajahn Brahm.

Leme Yeshe Ragbye

Leme Yeshe Ragbye’s guided meditations on the Insight Timer app are some of my favourite to use when I need a quick meditation session to calm my mind. Leme Yeshe Ragbye is a Western Monk in the Kagyu tradition of Tibetan Buddhism who moved from England to India to teach Buddhism and meditation.

My favourite guided meditations from Leme Yeshe Ragbye are his 10-minute positive breathing awareness meditation and the 16-minute experience stillness meditation.

The Wrap Up

Meditation is a lifelong practice that offers a huge range of benefits for men. Whether you are looking to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, reduce stress and anxiety, perform better in the bedroom, improve your health or simply create some peace in your life, meditation is for you.

Personally, meditation has supported me through some of my darkest times and helped me to become a calmer, more compassionate version of myself. All it takes is a little planning, dedication, and an open mind.

Happy meditating!

Meditation For Men: A Step-By-Step Guide For Busy Guys